It’s All Laid Out In The Staff Handbook

“How come you’re not at school then Gloria? I know you teachers have lots of holidays but it’s only the second week in September. You haven’t been back two minutes.”

“No Dawn, it’s not a holiday. I did have a class but I lost them.”

“Lost them! Blimey Gloria that was careless of you. What happened?”

“It all started last Monday. During registration, I heard two children sneezing. Well, of course, we’ve got strict rules about children being ill in school. So I left my classroom and instigated a lockdown.

“A lockdown! Crikey Gloria that sounds a bit drastic. So what actually happens with a lockdown?”

“It’s all laid out in the staff handbook. You make sure the children have all got some work to do to keep them occupied, I left Class 4 with a worksheet of long multiplication sums, then you leave the classroom quietly making sure not to cause any concern or panic amongst the children. Once safely outside you hit this big red button on the corridor wall. That locks and seals the door and all the windows in the room and makes everything airtight.”

“Did you take the children with you?”

“Don’t be silly Dawn, that would have put the rest of the school at risk.”

“So, what happened next?”

“The nerve gas goes in two minutes later. Meantime I let the Headteacher know and apparently he informs the Department for Education. They then arranged for a decontamination squad to be sent in. They then checked the room and removed the bodies.”

“What about the rest of the school?”

The Head said that my prompt action meant the rest of the school were unaffected. He’s putting me forward for a commendation from the Department for Education for my quick thinking.”

“Cor, fancy that Gloria, you getting an award, our mum’s going to be so proud. So when are you back at school?”

“Going back tomorrow. My classroom’s been fumigated and I’ve got a new class of children. Quite a healthy lot by all accounts. Anyway, enough of me, how’s your Barry getting on with that new job of his down at the euthanasia centre?”

Mike Jackson

Dialogue Only Story


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