Virtual Writers Group – A Grown-Up’s Nursery Rhyme

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Can you work out which traditional nursery rhyme is buried under all this language?

Silence, minute child on the highest branch.
When the air-flow makes a draught, the infant’s bed is going to wobble from side to side. 
When the main branch separates, the infant’s bed is going to get lower and lower very quickly.
Vertically will descend minute child, infant’s bed and absolutely everything.

This is, of course, ‘Hush-a-bye, baby, on the treetop’. What we’ve done is taken out the simple language from the nursery rhyme and replaced it with more complicated language.

This leads to a less sensible piece of writing but strangely, quite amusing. Let’s see what we can do with ‘Little Jack Horner’. (Did you know one of the first versions of this rhyme was recorded in a chapbook from 1764, titled “The History of Jack Horner, Containing the Witty Pranks he play’d, from his Youth to his Riper Years, Being pleasant for Winter Evenings”)

Little Jack Horner
Sat in the corner,
Eating a Christmas pie;
He put in his thumb,
And pulled out a plum,
And said, ‘What a good boy am I’.

The first two lines of our new, more complicated, less sensible, grown-up version might look like this…

Miniscule Jack Horner
Squatted in part of the room where two walls meet,

Can you finish it and add it to the comments below. Then choose a favourite fairy tale and see what damage you can do to it!

Good luck, have fun and keep well.


  1. Mi miniscule Jack Horner
    Sat where two walls meet
    Consuming a dead animal gourmet creation
    He thrust in his first claw
    And evicted a straw
    and stated What an amazing guy am I

    Not brilliant, but a lot of fun making this up


I look forward to reading your comments

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